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A+ Advice for ParentsCan I request a teacher conference before classes start?Q: My daughter, Maurie, is entering second grade and has had an unsettled summer because we just moved to Wisconsin from Alabama. When we talk about her new school, she cries and doesn't want to go. I tried to set up to a teacher conference in July, but I only got the custodian. Parents in our new neighborhood say the school is great, so I think seeing it and meeting her teacher would get her excited. How can I get a conference scheduled? A: Many schools aren't geared for parent-teacher conferences until the year is well under way. But many principals understand that new students can benefit from a "hello" and a visit prior to the new-student registration days (scheduled a few days before school opens). Shirley Harden, a retired Maryland principal who helps train new administrators, says you're smart to give Maurie a sense of familiarity before the first day. "Rather than ask for a parent-teacher conference, simply drop the principal a note or an e-mail asking to schedule a five-minute walkthrough. Explain why. Many principals do this at the end of summer, especially with children new to the school. Walk through the empty halls. Point out the cafeteria, the bathrooms, the library and so on. Take Maurie to her new room and say, 'When you arrive the first day, your teacher will have put up posters and bulletin boards especially for you and your classmates. Just think, this might be your desk!'" The idea is to build excitement and give her a mental snapshot of the school to carry with her. "Give the principal a little information about Maurie to relay to her new teacher. Or better yet, leave the teacher a short note saying you look forward to working with her. Include a photo of Maurie and a couple of details about things she's interested in," says Harden. "The whole visit takes less than 10 minutes, but it builds enormous good will for the year to come." Harden also suggests asking the principal if you can bring Maurie back to say hello to the teacher during new-student enrollment day. "Make it clear you're not asking for a parent-teacher conference," says Harden. "You're merely looking for a quick introduction." Build anticipation for enrollment day. Put documents you'll need (most schools require the child's birth certificate or passport, social security number and an immunization record from your health care provider; some require a utility bill for proof of residency) in a special folder she picks out and label it "Maurie's School Papers." "On the second visit," says Harden, "ask Maurie about the previous visit. 'Do you remember where the cafeteria is? Which way do you think your room is?' The whole exercise has two purposes: making Maurie feel safe, welcome, and confident, and establishing trust between home and school. Tell the principal that you'll call during the first week to let the school know how Maurie is progressing." California educator Allan Yeager has welcomed many new students to his classrooms during his 40-year career. "Giving children new to the school a sneak peek and a word with the new teacher before the first day does a lot to ease their fears," says Yeager. "Share that sneak peek with friends and family in Alabama. On your visit, take a picture of her in front of the school and e-mail or send the photo along with your new address. When people respond with encouragement, she'll feel proud of her new school." "The most important thing is maintaining a positive focus," says Yeager. Model conversations she might have on the first day with the teachers and with classmates. Show her how to approach a new classmate with a question or remark that will engage the potential friend in conversation. "Making friends takes a little time," says Yeager. Ask the teacher for a class list so she learns her new classmates' names quickly. Take Maurie to your the local library or bookstore and ask for books about being a new kid in school. "There is a wide choice of children's literature to help kids in transition, and a handful of titles are sure to appeal to your daughter," says Yeager. "As you read together, share your own feelings about the move and tell Maurie how you are going about making your own new friends in your new home in Wisconsin." Back to School Tip Do a "trial run" before the first day of school so your child knows where to go and what to do on that first busy morning. Know where the bus stop is, the time of pick-up and the driver's name. If you will walk with her to school, map out the safest route and time it. If you will drive her to school, ask the school for any special instructions. Many schools have special drop off and pick up zones, as well as times, to promote safety and avoid congestion. No child wants to arrive late on that all-important first day of school! Copyright 2007, United Feature Syndicate, Inc. A-PLUS ADVICE FOR PARENTS 8-6-07 Submission inquiries? Contact Dave Gladney at 856-241-7772 or dgladney@AEPweb.org.
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