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A+ Advice for Parents
Can I request a teacher conference before classes start?
Q: My daughter, Maurie, is entering second grade and has had an
unsettled summer because we just moved to Wisconsin from Alabama.
When we talk about her new school, she cries and doesn't want to
go. I tried to set up to a teacher conference in July, but I only
got the custodian. Parents in our new neighborhood say the school
is great, so I think seeing it and meeting her teacher would get
her excited. How can I get a conference scheduled?
A: Many schools aren't geared for parent-teacher conferences until
the year is well under way. But many principals understand that
new students can benefit from a "hello" and a visit prior
to the new-student registration days (scheduled a few days before
school opens).
Shirley Harden, a retired Maryland principal who helps train new
administrators, says you're smart to give Maurie a sense of familiarity
before the first day.
"Rather than ask for a parent-teacher conference, simply
drop the principal a note or an e-mail asking to schedule a five-minute
walkthrough. Explain why. Many principals do this at the end of
summer, especially with children new to the school. Walk through
the empty halls. Point out the cafeteria, the bathrooms, the library
and so on. Take Maurie to her new room and say, 'When you arrive
the first day, your teacher will have put up posters and bulletin
boards especially for you and your classmates. Just think, this
might be your desk!'"
The idea is to build excitement and give her a mental snapshot
of the school to carry with her. "Give the principal a little
information about Maurie to relay to her new teacher. Or better
yet, leave the teacher a short note saying you look forward to
working with her. Include a photo of Maurie and a couple of details
about things she's interested in," says Harden. "The
whole visit takes less than 10 minutes, but it builds enormous
good will for the year to come."
Harden also suggests asking the principal if you can bring Maurie
back to say hello to the teacher during new-student enrollment
day. "Make it clear you're not asking for a parent-teacher
conference," says Harden. "You're merely looking for
a quick introduction."
Build anticipation for enrollment day. Put documents you'll need
(most schools require the child's birth certificate or passport,
social security number and an immunization record from your health
care provider; some require a utility bill for proof of residency)
in a special folder she picks out and label it "Maurie's School
Papers."
"On the second visit," says Harden, "ask Maurie
about the previous visit. 'Do you remember where the cafeteria
is? Which way do you think your room is?' The whole exercise has
two purposes: making Maurie feel safe, welcome, and confident,
and establishing trust between home and school. Tell the principal
that you'll call during the first week to let the school know how
Maurie is progressing."
California educator Allan Yeager has welcomed many new students
to his classrooms during his 40-year career. "Giving children
new to the school a sneak peek and a word with the new teacher
before the first day does a lot to ease their fears," says
Yeager. "Share that sneak peek with friends and family in
Alabama. On your visit, take a picture of her in front of the school
and e-mail or send the photo along with your new address. When
people respond with encouragement, she'll feel proud of her new
school."
"The most important thing is maintaining a positive focus," says
Yeager. Model conversations she might have on the first day with
the teachers and with classmates. Show her how to approach a new
classmate with a question or remark that will engage the potential
friend in conversation. "Making friends takes a little time," says
Yeager. Ask the teacher for a class list so she learns her new
classmates' names quickly.
Take Maurie to your the local library or bookstore and ask for
books about being a new kid in school. "There is a wide choice
of children's literature to help kids in transition, and a handful
of titles are sure to appeal to your daughter," says Yeager. "As
you read together, share your own feelings about the move and tell
Maurie how you are going about making your own new friends in your
new home in Wisconsin."
Back to School Tip
Do a "trial run" before the first day of school so your
child knows where to go and what to do on that first busy morning.
Know where the bus stop is, the time of pick-up and the driver's
name. If you will walk with her to school, map out the safest route
and time it. If you will drive her to school, ask the school for
any special instructions. Many schools have special drop off and
pick up zones, as well as times, to promote safety and avoid congestion.
No child wants to arrive late on that all-important first day of
school!
Copyright 2007, United Feature Syndicate, Inc.
A-PLUS ADVICE FOR PARENTS 8-6-07
Submission inquiries? Contact Dave Gladney at
856-241-7772 or dgladney@AEPweb.org.
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