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A+ Advice for Parents

Prep your preschooler to overcome the 'jitters'
By Leanna Landsmann

Q: My son, Dakota, starts kindergarten soon and was excited about it until last week when he started to cry about it. He's an only child and may be a little spoiled. Do you think that's the problem? School starts in a few days and he's having meltdowns! I'm in a panic.

A: Spoiled or not, many children get the "kindergarten jitters." California early childhood educator Allan Yeager advises worried parents to take a deep breath and view the process of "starting school" as a continuum of support that should be provided throughout the year. In the days before your son starts, try the following:

• Ask Dakota what he expects will happen at school. Put any fears to rest and address misconceptions. Share any first-day jitters you've had in your life and how you felt. Can you remember your first day of school? College? New job? Tell him that it is normal to have anxieties about things we've never done before. Walk through his day with him; be explicit about how he'll get there and his after-school schedule to allay any worries.
• Take him to visit school before classes begin. Most schools have arrangements for kindergarteners to walk through the halls, and visit classrooms and the cafeteria. Build anticipation by pointing out things he'll see his first day, such as bulletin boards, letter charts and so on. If possible, meet his kindergarten teacher and ask questions on his "worry list." Take him to the cafeteria to show him how the lines work and, if possible, let him carry a tray. Show him the bathrooms. Make sure he knows how to flush the toilet, use the urinal and wash up on his own.
• Read children's books about going to school. "A great story about the first day of school can often reassure a child and get him thinking about the fun he'll have," says Carl Harvey, library media specialist at North Elementary School in Noblesville, Ind.
   
  There are many wonderful 'back to school' books to choose from. Two just published deliver encouragement with a smile: "Jake Starts School" (Feiwel & Friends, 2008) describes a boy's worries that he won't be able to stay at school on his own. "Late for School" (Carolrhoda Books, 2008) describes the trials of a teacher who oversleeps, despite warning students of the need for punctuality.
   
  Harvey suggests these perennial favorites:
   
  "Look out, Kindergarten, Here I Come!" (Viking, 1999). Henry wants to go to kindergarten, but he isn't sure about staying once he arrives.
   
  "Kindergarten Rocks!" (Voyager, 2008). Dexter knows all about kindergarten and isn't at all scared about his first day, but his stuffed dog, Buster, is very nervous!
   
  "A Place Called Kindergarten" (Puffin, 2008). The animals in the barn become alarmed when the dog tells them their friend Tommy has gone to a place called "Kindergarten."
   
  "Countdown to Kindergarten" (Voyager, 2008).Ten days before the start of kindergarten, a preschooler cannot tie her shoes and fears the worst.
   
  "Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten," (Puffin, 2001). Miss Bindergarten introduces her students to the alphabet.
• Make the first day of school a big deal. Take photos, have a special breakfast and put a "sticky note" with a kiss in his pocket. "Send him to school full of confidence," says Yeager.
• Create a plan to support Dakota's learning all year long. "This is the most important thing you can do," says Yeager. The plan should include daily activities such as reading with him after school, reinforcing what he's learning, and encouraging him to talk about his day. "These help develop language skills and vocabulary," Yeager says. Point out what he's learning is used in daily life, such as using math when measuring ingredients in a recipe. Limit television and video games and encourage active play. Start a "learning team" with another kindergarten friend. Find time to visit or volunteer at school, and stay in close touch with his teacher. "Don't wait for a problem to arise," says Yeager. "Develop a working partnership with the teacher from Day 1."

Do you have a question about your child's education? E-mail it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.

Copyright 2008, United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

A-PLUS ADVICE FOR PARENTS 8-18-08

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