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A+ Advice for ParentsParents are the first teachersBy Leanna Landsmann Q: My third-grade daughter's teacher called to say she "missed" me at Open House last week and asked if my husband and I could meet with her. I asked if there was a problem, and she said no, she just wanted to know all the parents in her class. It feels like a "guilt trip," and I resent her assuming I'm married. I'm a poor single mom with two kids and no time for myself. My job is to get the kids to school, and the school's job is to teach them. My sister says I should meet the teacher so she doesn't hold it against my daughter. A: Mom, take a deep breath. Be grateful that she called you. Set aside your suspicion and defensiveness. This teacher has done nothing to warrant your crankiness. Give her credit for understanding how important it is to communicate with parents. Yes, your job is to get the kids to school, and it's the school's job to teach them. But it's also your job to partner with the school if you want the very best for your kids. If we've learned any one thing in the last 30 years about why some kids succeed and others fail in school, it's this: The students whose parents communicate with teachers and work closely with the school do better academically than those whose parents don't. A just-released report, "The Family: America's Smallest School" (Educational Testing Service: ets.org/familyreport) underscores this truth. Paul Barton, study co-author, ETS Policy Information Center, says research shows that "when parents, teachers and schools work together to support learning, students do better in school and stay in school longer." The ETS study shows that factors like single-parent families, whether parents read to children, how many hours kids spend watching television and the number of school absences, when combined, "account for about two-thirds of the large differences among states in National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) reading scores," says Barton. In other words, developing a strong home-school connection is worth your time because it can pay off in higher grades for your children. Here are four good reasons why. -- When you know the teacher, problems are solved more effectively and praise for your child's good work spreads more quickly. Should an issue arise with your daughter, you don't need to spend time establishing a relationship to work it out you already have one. (A meeting is an opportunity to let her know your marital status and anything else you think is important concerning your daughter.) -- Most principals work hard to make their schools the center of a "community of learners" that includes the parents. Within that "community," you may find events and helpful services for your family. Many elementary schools have "movie weekends" or "family nights" that focus on themes such as math, reading and science achievement. They're fun ways to meet a network of parents with whom you can share ideas. Many schools reach out to fathers with special events. If your daughter's dad is part of her life, encourage him to get involved. (See Dadsanddaughters.org for ideas.) -- Teachers can open doors to the range of services many schools offer families. Uncomfortable helping your daughter with homework? Her teacher might be able to assign a volunteer tutor to pitch in. Caught in a daycare bind? The teacher can refer you to after-school programs that enrich your daughter's academic experience. Many families today are under great financial pressures, and it's often through school referrals starting with the teacher that they can access a community's services. -- Teachers can suggest simple adjustments in the family environment that can make a big difference in performance. For example, factors such as setting aside one quiet place for homework; checking daily to see that homework is finished; cutting back excessive TV viewing and game playing; reading together for a few minutes each evening; asking open-ended questions about school to prompt discussion can boost a child's grades. Having books, magazines and newspapers at home is important for growth in reading, writing, math and science. Teachers can help your daughter find these resources in school if the household budget is tight. When your daughter sees that her mom and her teacher are on the team with common goals for her, she's more likely to want to meet those goals to make you both proud. Call the teacher. Copyright 2007, United Feature Syndicate, Inc. A-PLUS ADVICE FOR PARENTS 11-19-07 Submission inquiries? Contact Stacey Pusey at 302-295-8349.
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